A Trumped Up Candidacy

Just a quickie. I had never intended to write anything about the despicable, egomaniacal, self-promoting Donald Trump but my beautiful wife has been so upset by his pathetic grab for publicity that I decided to be a good husband and write this one piece and hopefully we will never have to hear anything about this clown again.

Donald Trump is about to launch another faux campaign which should come to an abrupt end the minute NBC renews his phony “You’re fired,” clown show. Why do I say faux? Because faux campaigns are designed not to win the presidency but to thrust the candidate further into the public eye, to massage his or her ego and to enhance an already monstrously hubritic self-image. Old Blondie Don has already run as a Democrat and a Libertarian, now he going to inflict his bad hair day on the Republicans or failing that the Teabaggers.

Of course if he goes the way of the Teabaggers he’s going to have to compete with a grand list of publicity seeking, idiot, nut cases like Bachman, Gingrich, Angle, O’Donnell & Palin. Not an easy job but the Dithering Donald is surely up to it. In his desperation Doddering Don had latched onto the birther non-issue as his principal campaign motivator and when that failed he created a seriously racist attack on Obama’s college choices and the fact, according to Dastardly Don, that he was accepted at two of our country’s better universities because he is black. By pushing his birther issue he had, in the words of Gail Collins made, ”Bill O’Reilly look like the most sensible man in the room.” I mean if the President actually hadn’t had a birth certificate, is anyone naïve enough to think he couldn’t have had one made. Come on, this is the age of technology.

So what are Doltish Don’s qualifications to be president? Well, he got his start by having a millionaire father much like a recent president who started two wars and dumped the country into insolvency. He also, according to him, has had great business success, none of it having to do with his father’s millions, although the fact is, most of us could probably have done better if our old men had been millionaires. But let’s take a look.

He has built a lot of buildings in New York, most of them gaudy and in abominable taste but all of them displaying a lot of gold paint or if he is to be believed, gold leaf. A group of them along the West Side highway are currently responsible for screwing up traffic all over the Upper West Side.

He produces Celebrity Apprentice, a TV show of questionable value on which faux (there’s that word again) celebrities and once in a while a real one, grovel at his feet for the chance to come back next week and grovel again. His main gift to his audience is to show what a smarmy pair of sons he has raised, allowing them to tell contestants, some of whom have had real careers, how they had failed in the eyes of two rich kids who never have had to actually earn a living their father didn’t provide.

And then there’s the Dubious Don’s greatest business triumph: owning a string of gambling casinos that is in line for bankruptcy, a resume item here-to-for almost unknown on this planet. It used to be that there were only three ways to lose a casino; an offer you couldn’t refuse, a bullet in the head or a horse head in bed. It seems the Demented Don has found another, incompetence.

Of course in the short run having Trump around is always good for a few laughs, just as long as he doesn’t push it too far or stumble into any measure of success, like winning the presidency.  I love Rome but I don’t want to have to move there.

It has been pointed out, rather forcefully by Lawrence O’Donnell, that Trump’s candidacy will disappear the moment NBC renews his awful show. But what if they don’t renew? I still think he won’t run. Anyone so filled with hubris, so driven by ego couldn’t possibly take the chance of losing. Speaking of NBC, they should be ashamed of themselves. I know that they are just another bunch of greedy slobs who will do anything to publicize a show but somewhere there must be limits. Someone has to stand up on his hind legs and say, enough. This fat blonde clown is demeaning our whole political process and we are helping him.

What should happen, right now, is that everyone should forget that Donald Trump exists. I am not speaking here about the people because they will certainly forget about him the second he is no longer featured in every piece of needy media (including this) that continues to give him the one thing he needs more than food or air… press. So let’s hope we never hear the blonde bully’s name again nor see his belligerent countenance. Actually never will be far too soon.